NRDC: The Family Dinner
Editor's note: This is an extended version of an interview from our Winter 2011 issue (see “Good Recipe for the Planet.”)
Environmental activist, NRDC trustee, and An Inconvenient Truth producer Laurie David has published a new book, The Family Dinner: Great Ways to Connect With Your Kids, One Meal at a Time (Grand Central Publishing, $29.99). Overflowing with recipes by Kirstin Uhrenholdt, life lessons, and advice from David's famous friends, the book aims to draw us back to the table and keep us there long past dessert. She recently sat down with OnEarth to discuss her ideas.
What was your inspiration for this book?
I had an epiphany one night sitting at the kitchen table with my kids. I was reaping the benefits of years of the family dinner ritual. Even though my kids were now in their teens, they were still coming to the table every night and staying long after dessert just to talk. That realization was soon followed by another: That all the issues I care about -- the environment, the food we eat, what we buy, how much we waste -- all these things crossed the dinner place.
We need a shift in consciousness to address the really big problems of our day, like our overconsumption and global warming. We need to value more, waste less. A lot of these values, I realized, are instilled as part of the family dinner ritual.
The book reports on surprising research about how eating dinner as a family fosters healthy eating habits and also boosts kids' self esteem, grades, confidence, etc. Can you explain?
The research is really staggering: All the things a parent worries about can be improved by sitting down to dinner. The fact that there has been a huge increase in health problems at the same time there has been a decline in family dinners is no coincidence. What’s amazing about the dinner table is how much is actually going on -- how much your children are learning that we’re not even aware of.
Kids eat better if they have a family dinner routine. Turning off the television is a big factor. If you eat while watching TV, you eat more. It also turns out that the family dinner ritual is the single most powerful thing you can do to raise confident, productive kids, more so than income, religious upbringing, etc.
For a lot of families, cooking every night can seem overwhelming. Heat-and-eat so easy. How do we break these habits?
Start with a couple of home cooked meals a week. You’ll see. They’ll be your favorites, and you'll want more. We packed the book with family-friendly recipes that are either really fast to make or that, if you're cooking on a Sunday for the week, you could make in double batches and put some in the freezer to enjoy another time.
Also, it doesn't have to be a three-course meal. Takeout once in a while is fine -- just make it healthy takeout. Put everything in bowls, set the table, and sit down together. The act of making the time special is what matters.
As an environmentalist, you take up the issue of America’s meat consumption. You offer lots of reasons and many delicious ways to reduce it, but does it really matter what a few consumers do?
It’s shocking, but we are eating 500 percent more chicken than our grandparents did. In their day, meat was a once-a-week treat. Today, many of us are eating it for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. It’s unhealthy and completely unsustainable. There are so many other great sources of protein that are much healthier. That’s why there’s a whole chapter in the book called “Meatless Mondays.” Try some of the recipes in that chapter, and I guarantee you won’t miss meat. And yes, definitely, if each of us chooses to eat just a little less meat each week, it can really add up, and make a very big difference.
You write that a solution to "time famine" is the family dinner, as it provides the time to purposely be a family. I'm struck by how this parallels our situation as a nation, the breakdown in civil discourse. Could family dinner help us as a nation?
It's a goal we should be working toward, though everything in modern life is pulling us away from it. Anyone that's raising kids today is dealing with this problem. Modern culture is squashing the family dinner. Kids are spending seven-plus hours a day on technology. That's alarming. We have to fight to preserve what’s critical to our health, to restore what’s fundamental to our happiness and our humanity. So what's a family to do? Savor the dinner hour, turn off the cell phones, the TV, the computer, come and eat together and talk -- purposely be a family.
Laurie, you pack this book with so much. Every chapter includes fun ways to stir up conversation and vary the dinner routine. You’ve got a chapter with games, another about poetry, more about current events, etc. What’s truly extraordinary is that you clearly have tried and tested every one of these ideas. So what is your favorite dinner table game?
My favorite dinner table game, honestly, is a quick one. We play it with guests, and we play with family all the time. That's the pet peeve idiosyncrasy game. I just love that game because we all have lots of pet peeves and idiosyncrasies. You could play this game over and over and actually learn things about your kids that you didn't know. And I love turning the table and having others tell you what they think your pet peeves and idiosyncrasies are, because your kids know more about you than you think. You have to have a little bit of a thick skin to play it that way. It's a great game when you have new people at the table, when you have extended family at the table -- it's always great just to have one of these games in your pocket to get things going, to loosen people up and get conversation started.
This book came out just before Thanksgiving. I assume that’s no coincidence, as you have a whole chapter devoted to giving thanks. The American family is going through some pretty hard times. How might your book help?
I think teaching our kids gratitude, particularly about the blessings of good food, is one of the biggest challenges we have as parents today. It's not like most of us are working in the fields, helping to grow crops. Being grateful is like an old muscle, and it needs to be exercised. We are living in a culture where everything is immediate, and I think it's something we have to be very conscious of as parents; learning to appreciate and to express our gratitude is very important. I think family dinner is the perfect time to learn and express gratitude for whoever is preparing a meal and the people who helped grow it. There are a lot of mini-lessons in taking a moment to say “thanks.”
I'm not a parenting expert, and I really am not trying to put myself out as an expert in any way. What I'm trying to say is that these have been some of my most beautiful memories, and I want to pass along everything I've learned, all the things that we've come up with to make dinnertime special. Life is hard. Raising kids is hard. Raising healthy kids is hard. So I don't have all the answers; all I wanted was to share my experience.






