The Hibernation Ball

 
(based on William H. Beard's painting Dancing Bears, 1879)

"He's dropsical, she is sore-eyed, yet they're never happy asunder."
                                                               -- Henry Woodfall, 1735

 

Along the banks of the Atchafalaya Basin,
Side by side, Darby & Joan are doing The Howl:

                                                  One step
                       Back step

                             Half step                   Slide
          Hop step
                                                              Double step
                         Last step wide

Their heavy breath grown sweet from
The paw-fulls of wintergreen they swipe
From the brush they romp through on their

Giddy way to Flat Pine Glen bedecked
With berries all a tangle beneath the broken
Moon splashing the burgundy moss.

But then, Two Ton Thompson, way too big
For his britches, sidles into view, looking like
Something the cat dragged in, setting Joan's teeth

On edge & putting her in a real snit, for TT's
An old beau who left her cooling her heels
In the thicket weeks ago until Darby made her

Acquaintance & licked her wounds. But now,
TT's back, looking for his druthers, expecting
Joan to swoon 'neath the light of the moon,

But there's umbrage to be taken, & Darby will
Have no cutting in without TT bearing the brunt
Of it all. And Darby raises the ante with a run

Of moves downright astaire:

                  One step
                                                          Triple step

                     Half step              Glide                    Full step

        Hop step            Triple step             Slide

                         Roundabout                  Inside out

                                                   Double step              Twirl

                Back step                Half step                End up curl.

So TT trips the light fantastic with Darby's sister
Sal who doesn't even hem or haw but's tickled
Pink to be snuggled up cozy in TT's arms, doing

The Howl in double time with swirls & dips & tads.
Now that really gets Joan's goat & sets her hopping
Mad, imploring Darby to give the local yokel a dose

Of what for, & he does, clearing the clearing of all
But the hoity-toity TT who takes the first swat upside
The head: Kahploee, and the next to the rump -- a real

Humdinger -- before high-tailing it out for the deeper
Woods: neither hide nor hair to be seen ever again,
& the dance resumes, Joan and Darby steppin' The Howl

Till the cows come home:

                                                              One step

                                      Back step

                                                    Half step                         Slide

                            Hop step                         Double step

                                                   Last step wide.