Late last week it was reported that the American Tradition Institute, a conservative think tank, filed Freedom of Information Act requests with universities and other publicly funded institutions seeking any and all e-mail exchanges between specified climate scientists and various news outlets. ATI has already made something of a name for itself by filing similar requests in the past, using FOIA to pry into private correspondence between individual scientists as they discussed and debated the merits of their research. These new requests, however, would seem to represent an upping of the ante.
As a journalist at an environmental magazine whose work requires him to communicate with all kinds of scientists via e-mail, I would like to save both the ATI and my own employer the time and expense associated with typing, filing, and acceding to all those bothersome FOIA requests. I hereby disclose the extent, in toto, of my e-mail correspondence with [NAME REDACTED], who happens to be the sole climate scientist with whom I've had any contact at all since I began working at OnEarth in late February of 2012.
Finally, I would like to apologize to the perfectly pleasant and very dedicated individual identified in these e-mails, whose body of work, scientific objectivity, basic decency, and fundamental American-ness will now almost certainly be called into question.
Date: March 17, 2012
From: JEFF TURRENTINE
To: [NAME AND IDENTITY OF PUBLICLY FUNDED UNIVERSITY REDACTED]
re: possible story for OnEarth magazine?
Dear Professor [NAME REDACTED]:
I'm an editor at OnEarth magazine, published by the NRDC. We're interested in doing a profile of you and your important climate-related work for an upcoming issue. Would you ever have time to sit down for an interview, maybe some photographs? I know you must be very busy these days, what with the climate changing so much and all!
So suffice it to say, we would be happy to come to you.
Let me know!
Sincerely,
Jeff Turrentine
Date: March 29, 2012
From: [NAME AND IDENTITY OF PUBLICLY FUNDED UNIVERSITY REDACTED]
To: Jeff Turrentine
re: possible story for OnEarth magazine?
Dear Jeff:
Sorry to have taken a few days to get back to you. I was making some tea in my pup tent atop a vestigial shard of the Ward Hunt Ice Shelf, where I've been doing some research, when the very ice below me split in half -- with me and my cup of Earl Grey on one side, and my phone, iPad, provisions, heart medication, key fob, etc. floating away on the other. It took me a week to find my stuff, which had drifted over a hundred miles south. Anyway, I'm back now! I'd love to do the piece. When do you want to come out to beautiful [NAME OF SAD LITTLE COLLEGE TOWN IN HONESTLY-NOT-ALL-THAT-BEAUTIFUL PART OF LOWER MIDWEST REDACTED]?
Best,
[NAME REDACTED]
Date: April 5, 2012
From: JEFF TURRENTINE
To: [NAME AND IDENTITY OF PUBLICLY FUNDED UNIVERSITY REDACTED]
re: possible story for OnEarth magazine?
Dear Professor [NAME REDACTED]:
Wow! Glad you made it back okay! I just checked Southwest, and it looks like I could get a cheap round-trip flight, leaving April 21 and returning April 25. Would that work?
Sincerely,
Jeff Turrentine
Date: April 7, 2012
From: [NAME AND IDENTITY OF PUBLICLY FUNDED UNIVERSITY REDACTED]
To: Jeff Turrentine
re: possible story for OnEarth magazine?
Dear Jeff:
No can do. I just remembered I'm in Texas that week, at a climate conference in Lake Travis, near Austin. Not on Lake Travis -- actually in Lake Travis: the water level has dipped so low that they've erected a hotel and conference center right there in the middle of what used to be the primo spot for snagging largemouth bass. Here's the not-so-funny punch line: At this conference center? The one that's at the bottom of a dried-up, 19,000-acre lake? No swimming pool. I'm totally serious. And I'm told that the water pressure in the showers feels like you're pouring a half-filled Dixie cup on yourself. Oh well.
How's your May looking? Maybe around the 15th? If you come out, we can do some of the interview over lunch at a great little place near campus -- our part of the country, as you well know, is famous for its delicious [NAME OF ICONIC REGIONAL FOOD SPECIALTY THAT, IN FACT, IS ABOUT AS DELICIOUS AS A SALTY, DEEP-FRIED CANVAS ESPADRILLE REDACTED]
Best,
[NAME REDACTED]
Date: April 24, 2012
From: JEFF TURRENTINE
To: [NAME AND IDENTITY OF PUBLICLY FUNDED UNIVERSITY REDACTED]
re: possible story for OnEarth magazine?
Dear Professor [NAME REDACTED]:
Okay, I think we can make this work: I'm flying in on the 17th and leaving on the 21st. That should give us plenty of time for me to talk to you not only about the important work you're doing in relation to climate change, but also to talk to your colleagues, family members, next-door neighbors, clergymen, dry cleaners, dog walkers, pool guy, and anyone else who can help me "round out" my profile by offering me colorful anecdotes about your professorially eccentric ways and insights into your private motivations. Can't wait! See you then!
Sincerely,
Jeff Turrentine
Date: May 14, 2012
From: [NAME AND IDENTITY OF PUBLICLY FUNDED UNIVERSITY REDACTED]
To: Jeff Turrentine
re: possible story for OnEarth magazine?
Dear Jeff:
It breaks my heart to have to do this -- but I'm afraid we have to postpone our interview. I just found out that a vacation home my family has owned for three generations on the Outer Banks of North Carolina has completely disappeared, along with the quaint little town surrounding it, a town that I'll forever associate with the carefree summer idylls of my innocent childhood. My days back then were filled with shoulder-rides, and ice-cream parlors, and dog-eared John Grisham paperbacks, and hunting for hermit crabs along the beach, and long games of Monopoly that stretched well past sundown. I'm emotionally devastated, to say the least. Apparently the sea level just kept rising and rising until it covered all the trees and houses; all that's visible now, I'm told, is the top of the old lighthouse. The only good news, if you can really call it that, is that the local chamber of commerce is adamantly denying that there's anything wrong -- so at least the annual Memorial Day parade is still on, as planned. (Even though the parade route down Main Street is now more of a "parade canal.")
I need time to deal with this. Can we reschedule? In the meantime, I'm going to drown my sorrows in an ice-cold can of our famous regionally brewed lager, [NAME OF IMPOSSIBLY WEAK AND FLAVORLESS BEER THAT IS "FAMOUS" FOR LITTLE MORE THAN AIDING DUMB COLLEGE FRESHMEN IN THE TRANSITION FROM DRINKING TAP WATER TO DRINKING ACTUAL GROWN-UP BEER REDACTED]
Best,
[NAME REDACTED]
Image: Namelas Frade/Flickr
