Halloween is our fave pagan holiday, a time to reflect on our connection to the Earth and pay reverence to our mortality. Wahoo! Pass the corn syrup! But seriously, what better way to celebrate this year's ... um ... less-than-bountiful harvest than by dressing up as a scary environmental problem? So drop that sexy zombie get-up and join us as we cackle nervously at our impending doom.

Nuclear Waste: Cover yourself with glow sticks and then wander around the neighborhood as if you have nowhere to go.

Climate Denier: Construct a mask shaped like a bucket. Put it on your head and fill it with sand. (Note: Don’t forget to make a breathing hole. Think ahead!)

FDA Inspector: Just wear a lab coat and a blindfold!

Genetically Modified Organism: You can get as creative as Dr. Moreau with this one. Whatever you do, don't label what you are. If folks don't know, jokes on them.

Arctic Sea Ice: Pour water over your head -- you're melting, get it? Then leave the party early.

A Fracking Chemical: You can dress as diesel fuel, lead, benzene, or just wear whatever you’d like. As a trade secret, who’s to know whether natural gas companies inject you into the Earth or not!

Shark Finner: Dress like a fisherman. Take one bite out of every candy bar you see and throw the uneaten remains back in the bowl.

Keystone XL: An easy cylindrical costume for you lazy types, and you needn't even bother ask "trick or treat?" Just barge onto people’s property and take what you want.

Midwest Drought: Perfect for teetotalers! Go around the bar and take away everyone’s drink. Then take away their food. Every once in a while, throw dust in someone’s face. No matter how hard your friends cry, never let up.

Endocrine Disruptor: BPA, PCB, pthalate, pesticide, take your pick! Cover yourself in plastic and add your own flair for the ultimate cross-dressing costume.

Image: Rob Stites