Dear Snor’eastercane Sandy,

We haven’t met, but lots of folks up my way are getting a mite concerned that you might pay us a visit early next week. You might not have heard, but last year about this same time, a distant relative of yours made a real mess of things around these parts, knocking out power to millions of homes and businesses -- including, incidentally, my house.

My family went trick-or-treating in the dark, lit a fire each night to keep warm, and huddled under blankets together on the living room couch to sleep. It took six days for our power to come back on. My now 3-year-old son remembers it so clearly that, a couple of weeks ago when we were talking about Halloween approaching, he asked me with tears in his eyes, “Daddy, will we lose power?” and “Daddy, will we have to sleep downstairs again?” I told him not to worry about it, explaining that last year’s “Snoctober” storm was kind of a freak thing, and he shouldn’t be concerned about his world being completely disrupted every year when Halloween rolls around. (Of course, I know that his life is sure to be plagued by more intense storms, devastating droughts, raging wildfires, and other disasters due to global warming, but it’s a little too early to start explaining that to him right now. He’s only 3!)

So as a personal favor, I sure would appreciate it if you could see fit to stay out in the mid-Atlantic, spare the East Coast an estimated billion dollars in destruction, and not make me into a liar in front of my kid. That would be really decent of you, and in return, I’ll talk to my pals in the news media and see if they’ll lay off on calling you a “Frankenstorm.” There’s no need for such rudeness on either of our parts.

Sincerely,
Scott

Image: Hurricane Sandy seen approaching Florida from NOAA satellite on Thursday/@NOAASatellites